5 Parenting Practices from Japanese Culture We Might Consider Adopting

Japanese children are often admired for their politeness, friendliness, and self-control. It is uncommon to see them acting out in public, though exceptions do exist.

Tinytotsblog explores some parenting principles from Japan that might be valuable to consider. Here are some key aspects of Japanese child-rearing:

Strong Mother-Child Bond
In Japan, the bond between a mother and her child is particularly close. Mothers often sleep with their children and traditionally carried them using a baby sling. This strong emotional connection means that mothers see their children as perfect and provide unwavering support.

Japanese parenting allows children considerable freedom before the age of five. While this might be seen as permissiveness from a foreign perspective, it is intended to build a child’s sense of security and self-worth.

This approach fosters “amae,” a Japanese concept that refers to the desire for affection and attachment. It supports the idea that children can rely on their parents’ love, and it also extends to the support that grown children provide to their aging parents.

Research by American and Japanese scientists shows that positive parenting styles are associated with better behavior in children, including those with developmental disorders.

Japanese Upbringing Philosophy


In Japanese culture, children are seen as perfect before age five, then expected to adhere to societal rules from ages five to fifteen, and finally considered equals to their parents and others from age fifteen onward. This philosophy aims to develop children who are harmonious members of society, balancing personal and collective interests.

Early Years (0-5): Parents focus on unconditional love and support.
Middle Years (5-15): Children learn societal norms and strive to meet expectations, motivated by their attachment to their mothers.
Adolescence (15+): Children become full members of society, recognized as equals.
Family Focus
In Japan, mothers typically take on the primary role in raising children, and children are usually not sent to kindergarten before the age of three. Instead, they spend significant time with their family members. Japanese families are known for their strong, supportive relationships.

Role Modeling
Japanese parents often lead by example rather than giving direct instructions. For instance, in an experiment comparing Japanese and European mothers, Japanese mothers demonstrated tasks for their children to replicate, while European mothers explained the process and let their children try on their own.

Emotional Sensitivity
Japanese parents emphasize understanding and respecting emotions. They avoid shaming or pushing their children, instead encouraging empathy for others’ feelings. For example, a Japanese mother might express concern for a toy being damaged, while a European mother might reprimand the child directly.

Although Japan’s parenting methods are influenced by both traditional values and modern Western practices, the core principles of calm and loving guidance remain consistent.

What are your thoughts on Japanese parenting practices? Share your opinion!

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