A viral family drama has sparked a wave of sympathy for a new mom who reportedly had a gender reveal party imposed on her, despite her wishes.
“I’m expecting a baby boy in November,” the woman shared on social media over the weekend. Her post has received around 9,000 reactions and over 1,200 comments.
“My fiancé and I were indifferent about the baby’s sex, so we didn’t make a big deal about it after finding out,” she explained in a Reddit post on the AITA (“Am I the A–hole”) page.
“We only informed our parents, their partners, and our siblings,” wrote the user, “ThrowawayGenReveal.”
However, she noted that her father’s girlfriend, who has been in the family for three years, had been persistently asking about a gender reveal party. Despite her clear stance against having one, the party was still organized.
“When I told them the gender of my baby, my father’s girlfriend expressed her disappointment that I hadn’t changed my mind about having a gender reveal party,” the woman explained.
She added, “I’ve never liked gender reveals and have always preferred baby showers, which feel more focused on the child. I’ve been clear about this preference.”
The mom-to-be said she was left “in shock” by the reaction.
A few days later, she recounted that her father’s girlfriend invited her over for tea while her father was out of town. Upon arrival, she was surprised by about a dozen people who had been hiding. The apartment was decorated with pink and blue, making the event’s purpose evident.
The woman described being stunned when her father’s girlfriend excitedly announced that they were throwing a surprise gender reveal party.
It turns out that her father’s girlfriend had organized the event, including ordering a cake with colorful frosting, decorating the apartment, and inviting guests, without consulting her first.
Regarding the surprise gender reveal party, she said, “The guests included her mother (with whom I don’t get along), some of her friends, my mother-in-law (not my mom), and four of my friends. I later learned that my mother-in-law and friends were under the impression that I had changed my mind about gender reveals.”
She clarified, “I had not changed my mind.”
Her father called her, angry that she had “ruined the party.”
Standing at the doorway, she stated, “I told everyone, ‘It’s a boy. You can go home now.’”
She then left “without looking back,” as she wrote.
“Hours later,” she continued, “my father called, upset that I had spoiled the party. He said his girlfriend had put significant effort, money, and emotion into organizing it and felt I should have shown more respect and gratitude. Apparently, she had been crying since I left.”
The mom-to-be shared in her post, “It’s been almost a week, and they’re still upset. Even after I explained that I never wanted the party, they keep insisting I should have just tolerated it for an hour or at least participated in cutting the cake.”
She turned to the platform to ask if she was wrong for her actions and feelings.
One of the top comments on Reddit, which received around 11,000 upvotes, suggested that the mom-to-be wasn’t in the wrong. The commenter wrote, “It seems like the dad’s girlfriend was trying to show she cares more than your mom, especially since your mom either wasn’t invited or chose not to come to respect your wishes.”
The commenter said, “She doesn’t seem to understand that showing you care means listening to what you want and don’t want.”
Another person added, “You were clear about your feelings on gender reveal parties, and your dad’s girlfriend completely ignored and disrespected that.”
This commenter also noted, “It’s unfortunate that the party she planned for herself was disrupted. Maybe she should have just not invited you if the event was solely about her desires.”
Summarizing the consensus, one user wrote, “You set a boundary and left as soon as it was violated.”
They further explained, “Had you stayed, it might have been used against you in the future, with claims like ‘It wasn’t that bad’ or ‘Why complain when you attended?'”
Fox News Digital consulted Dr. Kathy Nickerson, a clinical psychologist in California, for her perspective.
Dr. Nickerson stated, “Expectant parents should have the autonomy to make decisions about their pregnancy and child. If they don’t want a gender reveal party, their wishes should be respected.”
She continued, “The expectant mother clearly communicated her dislike for gender reveal parties, and disregarding that was disrespectful. Planning a surprise party and misleading friends to attend was manipulative.”
Dr. Nickerson added, “While organizing a party can be a thoughtful gesture, it’s inappropriate when someone has explicitly declined. The decision to throw this party was hurtful and self-centered.”
She praised the mom-to-be for standing up for herself, saying, “It’s unfortunate that her father is upset with her instead of addressing his girlfriend’s disregard for his daughter’s wishes.”
Dr. Nickerson concluded, “The mom-to-be does not owe respect or gratitude for something she clearly didn’t want. She’s not in the wrong and doesn’t need to apologize; instead, an apology should be given to her.”
